I, Frankenstein - You Either Die a Hero, Or You Live Long Enough to See Yourself Become Frankenstein

Gargoyles, who are actually angels, who transform into humans dressed like they’re from Prince of Persia team up with Frankenstein’s Monster who has super strength, speed, and has been alive for 300 years to stop a Demon Prince from creating an army of the undead using the dead Dr. Frankenstein’s journal. I feel like that sentence and that gif could be the entire review. 

Big Trouble in Little China - Everybody Relax, I'm Here

Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

Directed by: John Carpenter

Starring: Kurt Russell, Kim Cattrall, Dennis Dun, James Hong, Victor Wong

Release date: July 2, 1986

Running time: 99 minutes

Number of "Ancient Chinese secret, huh" jokes in here: 0. I'm pretty proud of myself. 

When it comes to a director-actor pair that made a string of amazing movies that made literally no money, there isn't a better pair than John Carpenter and Kurt Russell. This is one of those movies that's great to use as a barometer for someone's taste. If you watch it and don't enjoy it, you can just delete my number out of your phone because you're essentially dead to me. Life is short, and I won't waste a second on it on someone who doesn't love Jack Burton. 

This review is spoiler filled so if you haven’t seen it yet…

Watch this movie if: You want to see Kurt Russell. That's all I'm putting here. If you don't want to see Kurt Russell then feel free to see yourself out, the door is behind you.