Showing posts with label Horror. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Horror. Show all posts

Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead - “It’s Satan’s Arm. It’s A Long Story."



Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead (Død Snø 2)  
Directed by: Tommy Wirkola
Starring: A bunch of Norwegians and Martin Starr
Release Date: February 12, 2014
Run Time: 100 minutes
 
Dead Snow 2 begins with a Friday the 13th-esque recap of the original movie and then picks up immediately where the last one ended, except now everyone magically speaks English. Martin escapes the clutches of the Nazi Zombie Colonel Herzog but gets into a violent car wreck. The doctors who resuscitate him surgically re-attach the arm found in the wreck with him - the arm of Colonel Herzog. Herzog is using his powers to create an army of zombies to carry out Hitler’s orders, so Martin must use the powers that come with his new arm to stop him by creating an army of Russian zombies. Seriously. 

Dead Snow - Are They Nazi Zombies or Zombie Nazis?

 
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Dead Snow (Død snø)
Directed by: Tommy Wirkola
Starring: A bunch of Norwegians
Release Date: January 9, 2009
Run Time: 91 minutes

Eight Norwegian med-students take their Easter Break in a cabin in the woods mountains of Finnmark, a place that I absolutely thought was made up because I am an uncultured idiot. There's some drinking, some dudebroing out, some risqué games, two people having sex in an outhouse. You know, vacation, just like Chevy Chase would have wanted it. One night a grizzled old man knocks on their door and calmly explains that a Nazi regimen "inhabited" a nearby village during World War II and there is evil lingering. He leaves, they find a box of Nazi gold, they get attacked by Nazi zombies for an hour. You know, pretty much standard fare. 

The Taking of Deborah Logan - Look Kids, It's A Netflix Horror Movie That Isn't Hot Garbage

Taking of Deborah Logan Poster


Most of the time the Netflix Roulette is a lesson in disappointment and futility. Many times I find myself banging my head against the wall wondering aloud if I'm wasting my time searching for a diamond in the rough that doesn't exist. It exists, and it's The Taking of Deborah Logan

Evil Dead (2013) - One By One We Will Take You. Again.


Poster by Trevor Anderson

Evil Dead (2013)

Directed by: Fede Alvarez
Produced by: Bruce Campbell, Robert Tapert, Sam Raimi
Starring: Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Lou Taylor Pucci, Jessica Lucas, Elizabeth Blackmore
Release date: April 5, 2013
Running time: 92 minutes - You know it's an Evil Dead movie because by the time you hit the hour thirty mark you're already seeing the soundtrack listing in the credits.

I’m very new to the series but Evil Dead 2 is not only my favorite movie in the Evil Dead franchise but one of my favorite horror movies period. In my research (i.e. Googling a lot) I’ve found the first movie is more or less forgotten, even among some horror fans. Evil Dead 2 is such a perfect "do-over" that it completely overshadows the original in the minds of so many people. Obviously I didn't see this movie when it came out, but I remember the fan backlash. "Why is this so serious? It's missing the point, it's supposed to be funny.” That’s all a load of shit. Sam Raimi didn’t testify in front of a court in the UK because the original was just so fucking hilarious. 


The fan response was all I really knew about this movie going into it. The most vocal people were the people who seemed to know the least about it, if they even saw it. You know, the people who weren’t going to be happy no matter what happened. They were furious about making an Evil Dead movie without Ash, but they would have been just as mad if they’d tried to recast him. Just imagine how hard they’d be tickety typing away online if some no-name actor had the NERVE to say “groovy.” They would have thrown molotov cocktails at the director’s house.


This is the rare remake where it’s not some company buying the rights (Platinum Dunes with Chainsaw, Friday, and Nightmare) and going down the checklist of what’s supposed to be in those particular franchises and hoping to double up on their investment. Raimi, Tapert, and Campbell all served as producers and Raimi handpicked Alvarez, a Uruguayan unknown who up until Evil Dead had made a Youtube short film.


Enough bullshit, let’s get into this. I love the first movie and it’s a cornerstone in the horror genre, but it had plenty of room for improvement. This one is long as shit and there’s plenty of violent gifs ahead, so if you don’t want to explain to your boss why you’re looking at a tongue getting forked by a box cutter, maybe wait till you get home.

Oculus - The Best Horror Movie You Forgot About This Year (Spoiler Free)

oculus movie poster

Oculus stars Karen Gillan (Dr. Who) as a woman who is convinced that an antique mirror is responsible for a bunch of terrible shit happening to her and her family 11 years prior. It's way better than it sounds

Army of Darkness - Hail to the King, Baby



Army of Darkness (1992)
Directed by: Sam Raimi 
Starring: Bruce Campbell and Bruce Campbell 
Release date: February 19, 1933
Running time: 80 minutes

I tried to go in without thinking about the cult status or all of the hype I've heard about this movie over the years. It's one of those movies where even if you've never seen a single frame of it, it's so ingrained in pop culture that you know everything about it. You know Ash, you know the chainsaw, you know the boomstick, you know "groovy." You know most of the beats without ever even knowing who Bruce Campbell is. I tried to put all that aside and go in fresh. It's impossible to go in completely blind, but I'm only going in with a bit of knowledge about it. Most importantly the fact that it's not called Evil Dead 3 for a reason. I'm hoping it still retains a bit of the horror that made me love Evil Dead 2 so much without going completely over the top, but I get a strong feeling I'm not going to get any of it. 


Evil Dead II - Dead By Dawn



Evil Dead II (1987)
Directed by: Sam Raimi 
Starring: Bruce Campbell and 4 other people 
Release date: March 13, 1987
Running time: 84 minutes


Back again in my continuing series of "the most important movies of a particular genre that I've never seen." Up until I started this, I had never seen an entire Evil Dead movie, but sat through that entire piece of shit White Noise where Michael Keaton sees ghosts in video tapes. The first step is admitting you have a problem...

This is the part where I'd normally warn about spoilers, but I think I'm the last person from my generation to watch it, so why bother? Big chinned idiot plays a tape, puts a chainsaw on his hand, kills demons. It's your standard Shakesperean farce. 

The Evil Dead - One By One We Will Take You

evil dead poster



The Evil Dead (1981)
Directed by: Sam Raimi 
Starring: Bruce Campbell and 4 other people 
Release date: October 15, 1981
Running time: 85 minutes

I wanted to change it up and do some horror. I had a lot of series I could do: the obvious big slasher ones like Halloween, Friday, and Nightmare. As I was going down my DVD shelf I spotted the Evil Dead series and realized I had never seen a single one of them. I own 5 Wrong Turns and the fucking direct to DVD third installment of the “I Know What You Did Last Summer” franchise but I’d never seen a single Evil Dead movie start to finish. This makes me an asshole. 

This particular review is going to have a lot more “behind the scenes” stuff usual. I’m not trying to turn this into an IMDb trivia page, but anyone whose seen this movie knows how god damn ridiculous making it was, and for people like me who have never gotten around to watching it, it’s interesting to know how these 5 nobodies and a 20 year old with no money made a cheap movie in the middle of nowhere that went on to become one of the most influential horror movies ever.


This review is spoiler filled so if you haven’t seen it yet…

Watch this movie if: You don't want to be like me and be called a stupid piece of shit for not seeing it yet.