Fantastic Four (Percent Rotten)



Fantastic Four
Directed by: Josh Trank 
Starring: Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Kate Mara, Jamie Bell, Toby Kebbell
Release Date: August 7, 2015
Run Time: Approximately 900 minutes



I don't know if you guys heard any of the buzz, but apparently a lot of people dislike this movie.

Creep - What the Hell Am I Doing Here?



Creep
Directed by: Patrick Brice
Starring: Patrick Brice, Mark Duplass
Release Date: June 23, 2015
Run Time: 80 minutes

Get it. Like the Radiohead song. I'm so fuckin clever. 

Ant-Man - [Insert Penis Joke Here]


Ant-Man
Directed By: Peyton Reed
Starring: Paul Rudd, Michael Douglas, Evangeline Lilly, Corey Stoll
Release Date: July 17, 2015
Run Time: 117 minutes

Maybe we can finally cut this "is this going to be the first terrible Marvel movie?" shit out. 

Human Centipede 3 - Do Not Watch This Garbage Movie



The Human Centipede III (Final Sequence)
Directed by: Tom Six
Starring: Dieter Laser, Laurence R. Harvey
Release Date: May 22, 2015
Run Time: 102 minutes

Hey guys, let’s all agree to stop giving Tom Six money and never speak of this movie ever again. 

The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) - The Legend of Curly’s Gold



The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)
Directed by: Tom Six
Starring: Laurence R. Harvey, Nobody Else 
Release Date: October 7, 2011
Run Time: 91 minutes

Now with 100% more rape and projectile shitting 

Jurassic World - Hold on to Your Butts....Again




Jurassic World
Directed by: Colin Trevorrow

Starring: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Vincent D'Onofrio, Ty Simpkins
Release Date: June 12, 2015
Run Time: 124 minutes

God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man. Man creates another park anyways, because fuck it. Man creates a genetic hybrid dinosaur that breaks free from its cage. A bunch of extras get eaten.