Showing posts with label Reel Deal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reel Deal. Show all posts

Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LXII: AVP - Alien vs Predator

 

Do you love Alien? Do you love Predator? Do you love solving puzzles nestled deep inside ancient Aztec temples in Antarctica that were created hundreds of years ago when the Predators came to Earth and were worshiped as Gods? Do we have a movie for you!

Chris continues his kaiju quest and nearly has his spirit broken by the absolute dirt worst Godzilla movie, Parker has a whopper of a slate of Dracula flicks, and Alex continues to punish them both for crimes committed in their past lives with The Game of Games. 

Listen to it here


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The Game of Games: Week 1 Crankstravaganza


BA DA BA BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

The NFL season is upon us and the stakes have never been higher. Movie bets have become a tradition here at the Terrible Blog Zaibatsu, but, as they say, This Year is Different. Our dear sweet friend Alex took this simple idea of "let's make fun bets based on football games" that spawned from Swinging PizzaGate and twisted it into a vile concoction of vague rules, mistrust, bitterness, and chance. He has created...the Game of Games. 

Listen to the tail end of the Predator episode of Reel Deal to hear how the teams were chosen, especially if you want to hear a certain host scream in bewildered anger at 3 in the morning. 

Here are the lineups: 

Chris
Chiefs
Seahawks (3x Multiplier)
Broncos
Colts 
Saints
Falcons
Bucs
Panthers
Steelers 
Ravens

Inventory:
2 Risk Cards
3 Lifelines
2 Dragon Balls

Parker
Cowboys
Patriots
Lions
Jets
Dolphins
Bills
Ravens
Cardinals
Eagles
Falcons
Seahawks

Inventory:
1 Risk Card
4 Lifelines

NARY A DRAGON BALL TO BE FOUND 

Confused as to what any of this means? Join the club. It'll all make sense when Chris is watching Children of the Corn 666 instead of spending Christmas with his family. 


Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LXI: Predator


Hey guys welcome to a new episode of Reel De-HOLY SHIT YALL I FINALLY SAW UPGRADE. 

Parker, Chris, and Alex discuss their favorite pastime: watching Arnold Schwarzenegger movies. We briefly run down its 2 sequels which are simultaneously hot garbage and good as hell, Chris watches both Silent Hill movies for some reason, and Alex reveals his masterpiece: The Game of Games

Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LX: Johnny Mnemonic



Summer is nearly over. We've had months of sharks and squatches, but it's nearly spooky season. What better way to ease the transition than with Keanu Reeves in a cyberpunk thriller made by a guy who directed Megadeth music videos? Dolph Lundgren, Ice-T, and an ending twist that left us collectively speechless. Hack your brains with us. 


Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LIX: Crank & Crank: High Voltage



If you tuned in last week, you might remember our fearless host Chris calling himself a Jason Statham Expert (not once, but twice) all the while without seeing nary a Crank. It's time to change that. 

Is Crank the best movie of our generation? Yes. Is it the most important movie of our generation? Also yes. 

There is a lot going on here. The news segment makes its grand return to the show, we talk Pretty Little Liars, and SANTA JAWS. One of our most packed episodes yet. 

Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LVIII: The Meg


The gang's all here. Parker, Chris, Alex, and Alex combine on the only episode worthy of all four hosts being on at once: Jason Statham taking on a combination of A God Damn Megalodon and Chinese nationalism. 

We all came together as one for a common good and celebrated this occasion by playing bingo at Chris's expense. Take that, guy who puts the show together every week. 

Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LVII: The Jaws Quadrilogy

STONE COLD. STONE COLD. STONE COLD.

We're gonna need a bigger podcast.

Get it?

The Meg is right around the corner and shark fever has infected Reel Deal. Why settle for one of the greatest movies of all time when we could also watch 3 sequels that have no reason to exist other than to squeeze money from the Jaws name?  

We've got Squatchwatch, kaiju, and telepathic sharks. What could be better? 

Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LVI: Mission Impossible - Fallout


Bigfoot's girthy dingus and stealing sharks: the Reel Deal brand has never been stronger. 

#SquatchWatch continues with a deliciously gory Bigfoot movie and a found footage forest romp that almost puts Star Wars, Shark, and Squatch Expert Alex to sleep. 

The gang goes through the Mission Impossible Franchise before discussing the newest installment. It's a rare treat to go into a movie with sky high expectations and come out itching to see it again. We were so excited that we even cut back on racial slurs for Chris to edit out. 

It's got a bit of everything. Tom Cruise running, Bigfoot sex, Jeremy Renner, Godzilla, Bigfoot sex, some movie with blackface from 60 years ago, Bigfoot sex. Fun for the whole family so check it out. 


Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LV: Last Action Hero



It's finally here, folks. Hot takes on the movie you've been waiting all year to hear about. Sorry to keep you waiting, but Reel Deal is finally here to tell you about Truth or Dare. 

Squatch Watch 2018 is on as Star Wars, Shark, and Squatch Expert Alex digs deep into the dregs of direct to video Bigfoot movies. 

The gang watched the underseen Last Action Hero. The great Schwarzenegger streak of movies ended not long after its original. The real question is, was this the last great hurrah or a sign of what was to come? We talk about child sidekicks, meta humor, and la-CHRIS MADE ME WATCH FOODFIGHT AND HE WILL NEVER BE FORGIVEN. I CLOSE MY EYES AND I SEE DOGTECTIVE TRYING TO FUCK TEENAGE HILLARY DUFF. I WILL NEVER KNOW PEACE


Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LIV: Deep Blue Sea & Deep Blue Sea 2



Reel Deal is back with the most on-brand episode possible. Sharks, sharks, and more sharks. Parker, Chris, and Official Shark and Star Wars Correspondent Alex are deepest. Bluest. Their hats are like a shark's fin. 

We've got made for Syfy Channel movies about ghost sharks, Michael Rappaport as an engineer in an underwater sealab, and decade-late sequels that nobody asked for but everybody needs. 

Also, it's Chris' turn to assign some movies and he picks some fuckin doozies. That's alright though, laugh while you can you smug prick. This elephant doesn't forget.  

Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LIII: Shanghai Noon & Shanghai Knights

JACKIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE


More like Shanghai Yikes, am I right? 

Parker watched a slew of early 2000's garbage horror and Ant-Man and the Wasp, and Chris saw a bunch of movies that sound like books and Oceans 8. God damned SJWs putting women in movies. 

After that the two units had a very adult, extremely regular discussion about various incarnations of Scooby Doo. Chris was incredibly not mad about the live action movie, in fact he was actually laughing. 

Then the dynamic content duo discuss a pair of movies that sounded a whole lot better on paper. The absolute nerve of them to make Shanghai Knights nearly 2 hours. 


Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LII: Wild Wild West



MTV spent 4 million dollars to leave Stevie Wonder's blind ass onstage after Will Smith rode a horse and rapped at the VMAs, and somehow every part of that is less embarrassing than the movie itself. 

Wiki Wild Wild. 

Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LI: Jurassic World - Fallen Kingdom



Official Star Wars Correspondent Alex is back, because Solo ended up being Actually Good and we couldn't let him have a moment of peace. To the surprise of no one, Jurassic World 2 is absolute balls. To the surprise of no one, it's on the fast track to making a billion dollars. We're part of the problem. Tune in!

Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode L: Con Air


The only way to celebrate the biggest benchmark so far in Reel Deal history. 

Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode XLIX: Hereditary

https://twitter.com/ericallenhatch

Do you like dinner scenes that are so uncomfortable that you wanna rip your hair out or run out of the theater? You do? You're in good company. Chris appreciates the atmosphere of the movie, while Parker neglects to warn his friends that this movie might have something supernatural goin' on.


Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode XLVIII: Van Helsing



Crack open a cold one with the boys and get ready to hunt down all of gothic horror's most famous villains! Chris defends this piece of garbage, and Parker viciously attacks a beloved family tradition. Featuring Beatrice, Chris's sister, who gives baffling insight into a typical Field Day back in the mid 2000's. The world's most Absolutely Regular Nuclear Family.

More importantly, both Parker and Chris lost a bet last week and boy oh boy do they pay for it. 
Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode XLVII: Solo - A Star Wars Story



Parker and Chris are joined by Official Star Wars Correspondent Alex to own the sjw libs by watching a space movie for children.  


Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode XLVI: Deadpool 2



DID SOMEONE SAY SUPERHEROES? I FUCKING LOVE SUPERHEROES 


After going an exhausting two (!) weeks without a movie based on comics or toys, the absolute units crack open some cold ones and chat about Deadpool the Second. 

Also: Parker watched an obscene amount of Twin Peaks and 90's monster movies, and Chris watched a bunch of racist shit from the 1940s called Calamity Jane on the Orient Express or some garbage like that. 

Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode XLV: Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine




It would appear as if I have been tricked into watching a 60s movie where Vincent Price is sashaying around an evil lair and creating fembots to lure rich men into signing over their bitcoin rigs. Never heard of it? Mike Meyers should have, because this is the most Austin Powers ass movie I've ever seen. 

But before we get to that, the absolute units have each begun their descent into horror television. Chris reports back with his first experience with nearly a dozen episodes of Tales from the Crypt, and Parker dives headfirst into the first 3 episodes of Twin Peaks. Here's hoping both of those shows maintain their high level of quality until the end. 


Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode XLIV: The Haunting


 





Good evening boys and ghouls. Crack open a cold one for a scarily good fright as Chris, Parker, and Alex (the one they respect as Terrible Blog and all subsidiaries are Women Respecters) settle in for a ghoulishly good time with a horror classic.


What? Oh, it's the one from the 90s? Shit. Well, we have Owen Wilson getting decapitated, straight lesbians, and ASMR.

Listen to it here


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