Showing posts with label Reel Deal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reel Deal. Show all posts

Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LVI: Mission Impossible - Fallout


Bigfoot's girthy dingus and stealing sharks: the Reel Deal brand has never been stronger. 

#SquatchWatch continues with a deliciously gory Bigfoot movie and a found footage forest romp that almost puts Star Wars, Shark, and Squatch Expert Alex to sleep. 

The gang goes through the Mission Impossible Franchise before discussing the newest installment. It's a rare treat to go into a movie with sky high expectations and come out itching to see it again. We were so excited that we even cut back on racial slurs for Chris to edit out. 

It's got a bit of everything. Tom Cruise running, Bigfoot sex, Jeremy Renner, Godzilla, Bigfoot sex, some movie with blackface from 60 years ago, Bigfoot sex. Fun for the whole family so check it out. 


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LV: Last Action Hero



It's finally here, folks. Hot takes on the movie you've been waiting all year to hear about. Sorry to keep you waiting, but Reel Deal is finally here to tell you about Truth or Dare. 

Squatch Watch 2018 is on as Star Wars, Shark, and Squatch Expert Alex digs deep into the dregs of direct to video Bigfoot movies. 

The gang watched the underseen Last Action Hero. The great Schwarzenegger streak of movies ended not long after its original. The real question is, was this the last great hurrah or a sign of what was to come? We talk about child sidekicks, meta humor, and la-CHRIS MADE ME WATCH FOODFIGHT AND HE WILL NEVER BE FORGIVEN. I CLOSE MY EYES AND I SEE DOGTECTIVE TRYING TO FUCK TEENAGE HILLARY DUFF. I WILL NEVER KNOW PEACE


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LIV: Deep Blue Sea & Deep Blue Sea 2



Reel Deal is back with the most on-brand episode possible. Sharks, sharks, and more sharks. Parker, Chris, and Official Shark and Star Wars Correspondent Alex are deepest. Bluest. Their hats are like a shark's fin. 

We've got made for Syfy Channel movies about ghost sharks, Michael Rappaport as an engineer in an underwater sealab, and decade-late sequels that nobody asked for but everybody needs. 

Also, it's Chris' turn to assign some movies and he picks some fuckin doozies. That's alright though, laugh while you can you smug prick. This elephant doesn't forget.  

Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LIII: Shanghai Noon & Shanghai Knights

JACKIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE


More like Shanghai Yikes, am I right? 

Parker watched a slew of early 2000's garbage horror and Ant-Man and the Wasp, and Chris saw a bunch of movies that sound like books and Oceans 8. God damned SJWs putting women in movies. 

After that the two units had a very adult, extremely regular discussion about various incarnations of Scooby Doo. Chris was incredibly not mad about the live action movie, in fact he was actually laughing. 

Then the dynamic content duo discuss a pair of movies that sounded a whole lot better on paper. The absolute nerve of them to make Shanghai Knights nearly 2 hours. 


Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LII: Wild Wild West



MTV spent 4 million dollars to leave Stevie Wonder's blind ass onstage after Will Smith rode a horse and rapped at the VMAs, and somehow every part of that is less embarrassing than the movie itself. 

Wiki Wild Wild. 

Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LI: Jurassic World - Fallen Kingdom



Official Star Wars Correspondent Alex is back, because Solo ended up being Actually Good and we couldn't let him have a moment of peace. To the surprise of no one, Jurassic World 2 is absolute balls. To the surprise of no one, it's on the fast track to making a billion dollars. We're part of the problem. Tune in!

Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode L: Con Air


The only way to celebrate the biggest benchmark so far in Reel Deal history. 

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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode XLIX: Hereditary

https://twitter.com/ericallenhatch

Do you like dinner scenes that are so uncomfortable that you wanna rip your hair out or run out of the theater? You do? You're in good company. Chris appreciates the atmosphere of the movie, while Parker neglects to warn his friends that this movie might have something supernatural goin' on.


Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode XLVIII: Van Helsing



Crack open a cold one with the boys and get ready to hunt down all of gothic horror's most famous villains! Chris defends this piece of garbage, and Parker viciously attacks a beloved family tradition. Featuring Beatrice, Chris's sister, who gives baffling insight into a typical Field Day back in the mid 2000's. The world's most Absolutely Regular Nuclear Family.

More importantly, both Parker and Chris lost a bet last week and boy oh boy do they pay for it. 
Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode XLVII: Solo - A Star Wars Story



Parker and Chris are joined by Official Star Wars Correspondent Alex to own the sjw libs by watching a space movie for children.  


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode XLVI: Deadpool 2



DID SOMEONE SAY SUPERHEROES? I FUCKING LOVE SUPERHEROES 


After going an exhausting two (!) weeks without a movie based on comics or toys, the absolute units crack open some cold ones and chat about Deadpool the Second. 

Also: Parker watched an obscene amount of Twin Peaks and 90's monster movies, and Chris watched a bunch of racist shit from the 1940s called Calamity Jane on the Orient Express or some garbage like that. 

Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode XLV: Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine




It would appear as if I have been tricked into watching a 60s movie where Vincent Price is sashaying around an evil lair and creating fembots to lure rich men into signing over their bitcoin rigs. Never heard of it? Mike Meyers should have, because this is the most Austin Powers ass movie I've ever seen. 

But before we get to that, the absolute units have each begun their descent into horror television. Chris reports back with his first experience with nearly a dozen episodes of Tales from the Crypt, and Parker dives headfirst into the first 3 episodes of Twin Peaks. Here's hoping both of those shows maintain their high level of quality until the end. 


Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode XLIV: The Haunting


 





Good evening boys and ghouls. Crack open a cold one for a scarily good fright as Chris, Parker, and Alex (the one they respect as Terrible Blog and all subsidiaries are Women Respecters) settle in for a ghoulishly good time with a horror classic.


What? Oh, it's the one from the 90s? Shit. Well, we have Owen Wilson getting decapitated, straight lesbians, and ASMR.

Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode XLIII: Avengers Infinity War


Crack open a cold one with the boys as they sing the praises of one of the most ambitious crossover movies ever! I'm still not sure why they didn't have the Fantastic Four in this.

Not only did Chris pay real life Obama funbucks to see Infinity War in theaters, but he watched nearly the entire MCU beforehand. I have finally broken him. He has reached the event horizon of capeshit.




Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode XLII: Road to Infinity War & Hellboy / Hellboy II



Crack open a cold one with the boys as they rip open a new one with Hellboy and its sequel! Chris is enamored with Ron Perlman, and Parker gets freaked by the tooth fairies. Also, the absolute lads prepare for Infinity War next week as Parker tries to explain 18 movies worth of plot to someone who doesn't know what an Infinity Stone is.



Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode XLI: A Quiet Place



Very carefully open your cold one with the boys as they take in A Quiet Place! The lads find this to be easily one of the best movies of the year, and try (yet fail) to keep The Office jokes to a minimum.


Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode XL: Street Fighter & Street Fighter - The Legend of Chun-Li



Another video game movie? Seriously? Well, thank goodness we picked a couple of the good ooooOOOOOOH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode XXXIX: Ready Player One


Here's the thing, friends. Movies mean different things to different people. No one has the right to tell you that something meaningful to you is without merit. It's absolutely fine to love a movie, regardless of what anyone else thinks of it. 

With that being said, we saw Ready Player One and we fucking hated it. 


Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode XXXVIII: Scream




Crack open a cold one with the boys and jump back 22 years to rediscover just how important Scream was! Chris halfway guesses the twist, and Parker gushes about the opening scene.

Also, the first hour is about movies we watched recently, so if you don't care about that this is your warning to skip ahead.


Listen to it here


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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode XXXVII: Spawn


Crack open a cold one with the boys and do YOUR part for Hell's Army by watching Spawn! Chris tries desperately to defend John Leguizamo's performance, while Parker misses an opportunity to make a Dabo Swinney joke. For those of you wondering at home: it's so much worse than you remember. 

Listen to it here


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