Give Louisa May Alcott Some Credit



Ceci n'est pas une critique de Little Women.

The Oscar Voters are Cowards


The Oscars are this Sunday and I am livid. Outraged. Incensed. Peeved. During my lifetime I’ve watched the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences prove again and again that they are out of touch. Remnants of a different era, shambling along past their expiration date; a dozen Crypt Keepers who stay frozen in stasis only to be thawed out once a year to pull the lever that says racism is cancelled. They are a relic that needs to be thrown into the trash, and that was made apparent by the complete and total absence of Dragon Ball Super: Broly at the awards.

Horror Movies in 2020 - What Do You Mean Chris Rock Is In A Saw Movie?


The world is terrible and literally on fire, but at least we have horror movies. A new decade of #content is dawning, and I am waiting with open arms to be showered in remakes, sequels, sequels to remakes, and giant monsters. 

Cats - It's Like Singin' in the Rain, but Everyone Is a Cat. Also It Sucks.


Written by: T.S. Eliot, Lee Hall, Tom Hooper, Andrew Lloyd Webber
Directed by: Tom Hooper
Starring: Francesca Hayward, Robbie Fairchild, Judi Dench, Ian McKellan, Idris Elba, James Corden, Rebel Wilson, Jason Derulo, Jennifer Hudson, Taylor Swift
Budget: $90,000,000

Imagine, if you will, being kidnapped on a stereotypical dark and stormy night, where rain assaults the pavement, and you're tossed into a burlap sack and thrown into the backseat of a car. The car drives for awhile; how many miles or how many hours, you're not really sure, you're in such a daze. It finally skids to a halt and you get tossed out onto the concrete. You emerge from the sack and look out into the most desolate city alleyway you've ever seen, dimly lit only by the dingiest of street lamps - and what appear to be eyes, glowing in the distance, watching you. You're scared, you're wet, you're weak, you're alone - and then a hand reaches out of the distance and you hear a voice that asks: "Would you like to watch me make the Jellicle choice?"

Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode CXXIII: Star Wars Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker




The dead speak!

The decade comes to a dramatic conclusion with a new Star Wars film, but not the good kind like you want. The final episode of 2019 sees Chris, Parker, and Official Star Wars Correspondent Alex watch Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker and discuss it in excruciating detail. Spoilers: we did not care for it. 

No news segment, no recently watched, just 2 hours of the hottest Star Wars takes. 

Listen to it here

Subscribe to Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal on iTunes 

If you're jonesing for more Star Wars, we also have episodes on Solo and The Last Jedi.


Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LXXXVIII: The Lawnmower Man



Sometimes you pick a movie on a whim and it ends up being more glorious than anyone could have possibly imagined. Chris, Parker, and Alex dive into the true story of the first man to truly be Incredibly Online. More Godzilla movies in Chris' mad dash to see them all before King of the Monsters, Fantastic Memes and the Crimes of Grindelwald, and Alex's day at the theater. 

Listen to it here

Subscribe to Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal on iTunes


Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LXXXVII: Bee Movie

You never know when the Squatch Watch is gonna surprise you and rip your dick off.


I hate BEEing alive. 

Listen to it here

Subscribe to Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal on iTunes