Cats - It's Like Singin' in the Rain, but Everyone Is a Cat. Also It Sucks.


Written by: T.S. Eliot, Lee Hall, Tom Hooper, Andrew Lloyd Webber
Directed by: Tom Hooper
Starring: Francesca Hayward, Robbie Fairchild, Judi Dench, Ian McKellan, Idris Elba, James Corden, Rebel Wilson, Jason Derulo, Jennifer Hudson, Taylor Swift
Budget: $90,000,000

Imagine, if you will, being kidnapped on a stereotypical dark and stormy night, where rain assaults the pavement, and you're tossed into a burlap sack and thrown into the backseat of a car. The car drives for awhile; how many miles or how many hours, you're not really sure, you're in such a daze. It finally skids to a halt and you get tossed out onto the concrete. You emerge from the sack and look out into the most desolate city alleyway you've ever seen, dimly lit only by the dingiest of street lamps - and what appear to be eyes, glowing in the distance, watching you. You're scared, you're wet, you're weak, you're alone - and then a hand reaches out of the distance and you hear a voice that asks: "Would you like to watch me make the Jellicle choice?"

Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode CXXIII: Star Wars Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker




The dead speak!

The decade comes to a dramatic conclusion with a new Star Wars film, but not the good kind like you want. The final episode of 2019 sees Chris, Parker, and Official Star Wars Correspondent Alex watch Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker and discuss it in excruciating detail. Spoilers: we did not care for it. 

No news segment, no recently watched, just 2 hours of the hottest Star Wars takes. 

Listen to it here

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If you're jonesing for more Star Wars, we also have episodes on Solo and The Last Jedi.


Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LXXXVIII: The Lawnmower Man



Sometimes you pick a movie on a whim and it ends up being more glorious than anyone could have possibly imagined. Chris, Parker, and Alex dive into the true story of the first man to truly be Incredibly Online. More Godzilla movies in Chris' mad dash to see them all before King of the Monsters, Fantastic Memes and the Crimes of Grindelwald, and Alex's day at the theater. 

Listen to it here

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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LXXXVII: Bee Movie

You never know when the Squatch Watch is gonna surprise you and rip your dick off.


I hate BEEing alive. 

Listen to it here

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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LXXXVI: Broken Arrow



DID SOMEONE SAY NEWS? 

Listen to it here

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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LXXXV: Double Team



Did you know that Dennis Rodman used to play basketball? You didn't. Don't worry, Double Team is here to help. Chris watched a 9 hour long foreign Holocaust documentary and Parker watched two movies about ninjas starring a white guy. 

Listen to it here 

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Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal Episode LXXXIV: Road House



The streak of 'One of the Greatest Movies of All Time' continues with, well, one of the greatest movies of all time. Patrick Swayze doing tai chi brings up a lot of confused feelings in our dear lads, the gang has contentious takes on the film Burning, and Parker watched one of the best movies of 2018 and also Bohemian Rhapsody.


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