Fixed: The Worst Movie I'll See All Year

Written by: Jon Vitti, Genndy Tartakovsky (allegedly)
Directed by: Genndy Tartakovsky (allegedly)
Starring: Adam DeVine, Idris Elba, Kathryn Hahn, Fred Armisen
Shat out by: Sony Pictures Animation
Spread around by: Netflix
Runtime: mercifully under 90 minutes

I watched an animated movie about a talking dog and I didn't like it.

Stand by Me - Stephen King's Best Movie

                                                  

Written by: Stephen King, Raynold Gideon, Bruce A. Evans
Directed by: Rob Reiner
Starring: River Phoenix, Wil Wheaton, Corey Feldman, Jerry O'Connell, Kiefer Sutherland, John Cusack, Richard Dreyfuss

"It was on the tip of my tongue to tell them about the deer. But I didn't. That was the one thing I kept to myself. I've never spoken or written about it until just now."

Halloween III: Attack of the Magical Irish Androids

Written by: Tommy Lee Wallace, Nigel Kneale (uncredited), Debra Hill (idea)

Directed by: Tommy Lee Wallace
Produced by: Debra Hill & John Carpenter
Cinematography: Dean Cundey
Soundtrack by: John Carpenter & Alan Howarth
Starring: Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin, Dan O'Herlihy

There are precisely two (2) good movies in the Halloween franchise. The first is Halloween (1978). The other is Halloween III: Season of the Witch.

Flight Risk: A Disaster Movie, but Not the Good Kind Like You Want

 

Written by: Jared Rosenberg
Directed by: the award-winning director of Braveheart, Apocalypto, and Hacksaw Ridge

Starring: Marky Mark, Michelle Dockery, Christopher Grace

Frankly I expect better from Mel Gibson.

 Joker 2: Todd Phillips Forgets to Yell "Cut!"

Written by: Scott Silver, Todd Phillips
Directed by: Todd Phillips
Starring: Walking Phoenix, Lady Gaga, Brendan Gleeson, Zazie Beetz for about 3 minutes

Also known as Joker: Fondle à Dude. MY COLUMN:

A Review of Harlan Ellison's Greatest Hits

 

Harlan Ellison was not a science fiction writer.

My Beautiful Dark Cryptid Fantasy - Skunk Ape

Good evening, Creeps and Creepettes. Welcome to my haunted library of ghosts, goblins, and otherworldly critters. A world of frights and delights; of monsters, ghouls, and dolls that creep and crawl. I'm here to open my grimoire and tell you about urban legends, cryptids, folklore, mythology, and haunted curiosities hidden away in the Warrens' Occult Museum. Most importantly, I'm going to tell you which of them I could kill with my bare hands.

Today's case is a hairy, smelly creature that dwells deep in the Florida Everglades. And folks, I almost married her.