Showing posts with label Tales from the Crypt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tales from the Crypt. Show all posts

Tales from the Crypt - The Thing From the Grave (Season 2, Episode 6)

The Thing From the Grave
Season 2 - Episode 6
from Tales from the Crypt #22
Aired May 8, 1990
Directed by Fred Dekker
Written by Fred Dekker
Worst pun: "Which leaves poor little Stacey fresh out of boyfriends. Oh, well...I'm sure she'll dig one up somewhere."

A jilted Romeo murders his sweetie’s suitors…but maybe there is such a thing as a love that cannot die. 

Tales from the Crypt - Three's A Crowd (Season 2, Episode 5)

Three's A Crowd
Season 2 - Episode 5
from Shock SuspenStories #11
Aired May 1, 1990
Directed by David Burton Morris
Worst pun: We've been invited to an anniversary celebration of holy deadlock. To love and to perish. For richer, for horror. In sickness and in stealth. Till death do us part. 

What the fuck does in stealth mean? You ran out of ideas you puppet piece of shit.

Holy deadlock! A hubby turns against his wife and her presumed suitor. But is it all a fatal mistake?

Tales from the Crypt - 'Til Death (Season 2, Episode 4)

'Til Death
Season 2 - Episode 4
from Vault of Horror #28
Aired April 24, 1990
Directed by Chris Walas
Worst pun: Girls like that are pretty hard to dig up

Who do that voodoo? A scumball developer needing dough seeks occult help to land a millionaire bride.

Tales from the Crypt - Cutting Cards (Season 2, Episode 3)

Cutting Cards
Season 2 - Episode 3
from Tales from the Crypt #32
Aired April 21, 1990
Directed by Walter Hill
Worst pun: The fucking onslaught at the end. You'll see. 

Who’s got the losing hand…forearm…elbow? Find out in a shockingly high-stakes game of poker.

Tales from the Crypt - The Switch (Season 2, Episode 2)

The Switch
Season 2 - Episode 2
from Tales from the Crypt #45
Aired April 21, 1990
Directed by Arnold Schwarzenegger
Worst pun: “no pain, no gain.” 
To woo a lovely femme, a wealthy codger trades bodes with a hunk. But there's a switch to The Switch.

Tales from the Crypt - Dead Right (Season 2, Episode 1)

Dead Right
Season 2 - Episode 1
from Shock SuspenStories #6
Aired April 21, 1990
Directed by Howard Deutch
Worst pun: “when Charlie got his just desserts…he requested seconds.” 

For the money, honey! A gold digger marries a slob in hopes of gaining an inheritance.

Tales from the Crypt - Collection Completed (Season 1, Episode 6)

Collection Completed
Season 1 - Episode 6
from Vault of Horror #25
Aired June 28, 1989
Directed by Mary Lambert
Worst pun: "I want all of you to sit, stay, play dead. Good boy" 

Every retiree needs a pet project. So Jonas takes up taxidermy, turning the many pets his wife Anita dotes upon into a stuffed menagerie. Sit still. Don't move. This one will leave you in stitches!

Tales from the Crypt - Lover Come Hack to Me (Season 1, Episode 5)

Lover Come Hack to Me
Season 1 - Episode 5
from Haunt of Fear #19
Aired June 21, 1989
Directed by Tom Holland
Worst pun: "Open her closet door and see if any family secrets fall out. Beware of skeletons...unless they're yours truly." 

Her stocks, bonds, house: Charles loves everything about Peggy and wants to make sure their honeymoon is a night of (murderous) passions. But there's a family secret Peggy never told him...

Tales from the Crypt - Only Sin Deep (Season 1, Episode 4)

Only Sin Deep
Season 1 - Episode 4
from Haunt of Fear #24
Aired June 14, 1989
Directed by Howard Deutch
Worst pun: "Beauty is only sin deep" Yeah I know it's the title, there's not a lot to work with this week. 

A call girl plans to land a rich playboy and pawns her beauty in order to dress to impress. What? She misunderstands the pawnshop's refund offer? Too late to read between the lines (and wrinkles), girlie!

Tales from the Crypt - Dig That Cat… He's Real Gone (Season 1, Episode 3)

Dig That Cat...He's Real Gone
Season 1 - Episode 3
from Haunt of Fear #21
Aired June 10, 1989
Directed by Richard Donner
Worst pun: Sit down kids, it's a fucking DOOZY: "Dying for Dollars could have been a popular game show. They could have put it in between Wheel of Misfortune and the Newly Dead game. Unless they buried it in the wrong time slot."

Shoot him, drown him, hang him, zap him with a kajillion volts - hey, it's a living. A man who receives a surgical graft of a cat's nine lives becomes a carnival sensation with his dying act. 

Tales from the Crypt - And All Through the House (Season 1, Episode 2)

And All Through the House
Season 1 - Episode 2
from Vault of Horror #35
Aired June 10, 1989
Worst pun: "Be very careful of what you 'ax' for for Christmas. You might just get it."

The holiday chopping season runs late when an axe-toting maniac dressed as Santa makes a Christmas Eve visit to a philandering wife who murdered her hubby. Sorry, lady. He's not offering an escape Claus!

Tales from the Crypt - The Man Who Was Death (Season 1, Episode 1)

The Man Who Was Death
Season 1 - Episode 1
from Crypt of Terror #17
Aired June 10, 1989
Worst pun: "What a re-volting development" or "I'm sure he new knew 'watt' hit him"

A shocking experience! When the death penalty is abolished, a penitentiary executioner turns freelance electrocutioner. But fate may pull a switch on this man who loves to throw the switch.