Showing posts with label Nicolas Cage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nicolas Cage. Show all posts

Face/Off - I AM CASTOR TROY


I WANT TO TAKE HIS FACE...OFF


Face/Off (1997)
Directed by: John Woo
Starring: Nicolas Cage, John Travolta 
Release date: June 27, 1997
Running time: 138 minutes
Number of 'Travolta is gay' or Scientology jokes: 0. You should be impressed. 

This is it, the end of the trilogy. If Con Air was the Star Wars of funny accents, Face/Off is the Empire Strikes Back of stupid faces.

This review is spoiler filled so if you haven’t seen it yet…

Watch this movie if: You want to see Nicolas Cage be Nicolas Cage, and then John Travolta be Nicolas Cage. And doves. 

Con Air - Put the Bunny Back in the Box

WELCOME TO CON AIR


Con Air (1997)
Directed by: Simon West
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Nicolas Cage's Hair, John Cusack, John Malkovich
Release date: June 6, 1997
Running time: 115 minutes
Number of people who should have put the bunny back in the box: 1

This review is spoiler filled so if you haven’t seen it yet…

Watch this movie if: You want to see Nicolas Cage put as much work into a southern accent as he put into The Wicker Man while John Malkovich and his band of merry b-listers take over a plane. 

The Rock - Your 'Best?' Losers Always Whine About Their Best.

nic cage gif
WELCOME TO THE ROCK


The Rock (1996)
Directed by: Michael Bay
Starring: Sean Connery, Nicolas Cage, Ed Harris, Michael Biehn, William Forsythe
Release date: June 7, 1996
Running time: 136 minutes
Number of cutaways to black extras saying things like "aw hell naw:" at least 40

This is the beginning of the greatest film trilogy of all time. Not Mad Max, not Lord of the Rings, not Star Wars, not even The Mighty Ducks. Nicolas Cage is the star of the greatest stretch of 3 movies ever witnessed by man: The Rock - Con Air - Face/Off. The only way any trilogy could ever compare is if Return of the Jedi was replaced with Godfather 2 and Michael Corleone switched faces with the fat girl from Hairspray. Enough foreplay, let’s get into the Fellowship of the Rock.

This review is spoiler filled so if you haven’t seen it yet…

Watch this movie if: You want to see a buddy cop movie where Nicolas Cage and the original James Bond save the world from the bad guy from The Truman Show and his minions Dr. Cox and The Candyman. Basically, watch this movie if you like good movies.