Showing posts with label Horror. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Horror. Show all posts
Friday the 13th - It's Got A Death Curse
Posted on 5:26:00 AM by Big Bob Pataki
Friday the 13th
Directed by: Sean S. Cunningham
Starring: Betsy Palmer, Adrienne King, Kevin Bacon, Not Kevin Bacon, Ms. Not Kevin Bacon
Release Date: May 9, 1980
Run Time: 95 minutes
Body Count: 11 (if you include the snake)
In the late 1970's an exploitation filmmaker named Sean S. Cunningham placed a full page ad in the papers to drum up interest in a movie. He had no backing, no script, just a name: Friday the 13th ..."The most terrifying film ever made!" The name sounded cool and nobody sued him over it, and that was all the green-lighting he needed. He took the most memorable parts of Halloween and Psycho, sprinkled in some Kevin Bacon, and a franchise was born.
The Green Inferno - We Get It. You Really Like Cannibal Holocaust
Posted on 1:08:00 AM by Big Bob Pataki
The Green Inferno
Directed by: Eli Roth
Starring: Eli Roth's Wife, some other people
Release Date: September 25, 2015
Run Time: 100 minutes
...It probably sat on the shelf for two years because it’s really good, right?
Creep - What the Hell Am I Doing Here?
Posted on 11:25:00 PM by Big Bob Pataki
Creep
Directed by: Patrick Brice
Starring: Patrick Brice, Mark Duplass
Release Date: June 23, 2015
Run Time: 80 minutes
Get it. Like the Radiohead song. I'm so fuckin clever.
Human Centipede 3 - Do Not Watch This Garbage Movie
Posted on 2:26:00 AM by Big Bob Pataki
The Human Centipede III (Final Sequence)
Directed by: Tom Six
Starring: Dieter Laser, Laurence R. Harvey
Release Date: May 22, 2015
Run Time: 102 minutes
Hey guys, let’s all agree to stop giving Tom Six money and never speak of this movie ever again.
The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) - The Legend of Curly’s Gold
Posted on 11:16:00 PM by Big Bob Pataki
The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)
Directed by: Tom Six
Starring: Laurence R. Harvey, Nobody Else
Release Date: October 7, 2011
Run Time: 91 minutes
Directed by: Tom Six
Release Date: October 7, 2011
Run Time: 91 minutes
Now with 100% more rape and projectile shitting
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) - 2 Hot Teens Go Ass To Mouth And You Won't Believe What Happens Next
Posted on 1:45:00 AM by Big Bob Pataki
It's not just a movie about going ass to mouth. It's a 100% medically accurate movie about going ass to mouth.
Zombeavers - The Angriest Beavers
Posted on 2:50:00 AM by Big Bob Pataki
In World War II, Rick Blaine, exiled American and former freedom fighter, runs the most popular nightspot in town. The cynical lone wolf Blaine comes into the possession of two valuable letters of transit. When Nazi Major Strasser arrives in Casablanc-ah shit, wrong movie.
The Guest - What's A Handsome Guy Like You Doing In A Place Like This?
Posted on 3:24:00 AM by Big Bob Pataki
The Guest
Directed by: Adam Wingard
Written by: Simon Barrett
Starring: Dan Stevens, Maika Monroe
Release Date: September 17, 2014
Run Time: 100 minutes
Release Date: September 17, 2014
Run Time: 100 minutes
David (Dan Stevens) is a gorgeous, beautiful hunk of dudemeat sculpted out of the finest marble by the Gods above. He’s also a soldier returning from active duty and paying a visit to the Peterson family. The Petersons are still grieving over the recent death of their son Caleb, who served alongside David. David is polite. He doesn’t eat or drink much. He rarely sleeps. His sole mission is to help the Petersons with anything they need. Whether it’s helping their son Luke with school bullies or lending his ear to dad as he rants about getting passed up for a promotion, David just wants to make their lives easier. Their daughter Ana begins to suspect David might not really be who he says he is. And then some people wind up dead.
You're Next - Surprise Crossbows & Home Alone Traps
Posted on 1:37:00 AM by Big Bob Pataki
You're Next
Directed by: Adam Wingard
Written by: Simon Barrett
Starring: Sharni Vinson, A.J. Bowen, Joe Swanberg
Release Date: August 23, 2013 Run Time: 94 minutes
Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead - “It’s Satan’s Arm. It’s A Long Story."
Posted on 1:24:00 PM by Big Bob Pataki
Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead (Død Snø 2)
Directed by: Tommy Wirkola
Starring: A bunch of Norwegians and Martin Starr
Release Date: February 12, 2014
Run Time: 100 minutes
Dead Snow 2 begins with a Friday the 13th-esque recap of the original movie and then picks up immediately where the last one ended, except now everyone magically speaks English. Martin escapes the clutches of the Nazi Zombie Colonel Herzog but gets into a violent car wreck. The doctors who resuscitate him surgically re-attach the arm found in the wreck with him - the arm of Colonel Herzog. Herzog is using his powers to create an army of zombies to carry out Hitler’s orders, so Martin must use the powers that come with his new arm to stop him by creating an army of Russian zombies. Seriously.
Dead Snow - Are They Nazi Zombies or Zombie Nazis?
Posted on 2:19:00 AM by Big Bob Pataki
Directed by: Tommy Wirkola
Starring: A bunch of Norwegians
Release Date: January 9, 2009
Run Time: 91 minutes
Eight Norwegian med-students take their Easter Break in a cabin in the woods mountains of Finnmark, a place that I absolutely thought was made up because I am an uncultured idiot. There's some drinking, some dudebroing out, some risqué games, two people having sex in an outhouse. You know, vacation, just like Chevy Chase would have wanted it. One night a grizzled old man knocks on their door and calmly explains that a Nazi regimen "inhabited" a nearby village during World War II and there is evil lingering. He leaves, they find a box of Nazi gold, they get attacked by Nazi zombies for an hour. You know, pretty much standard fare.
The Taking of Deborah Logan - Look Kids, It's A Netflix Horror Movie That Isn't Hot Garbage
Posted on 2:03:00 AM by Big Bob Pataki
Most of the time the Netflix Roulette is a lesson in disappointment and futility. Many times I find myself banging my head against the wall wondering aloud if I'm wasting my time searching for a diamond in the rough that doesn't exist. It exists, and it's The Taking of Deborah Logan
Evil Dead (2013) - One By One We Will Take You. Again.
Posted on 7:41:00 PM by Big Bob Pataki
Produced by: Bruce Campbell, Robert Tapert, Sam Raimi
Starring: Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Lou Taylor Pucci, Jessica Lucas, Elizabeth Blackmore
Release date: April 5, 2013
Running time: 92 minutes - You know it's an Evil Dead movie because by the time you hit the hour thirty mark you're already seeing the soundtrack listing in the credits.
Starring: Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Lou Taylor Pucci, Jessica Lucas, Elizabeth Blackmore
Release date: April 5, 2013
Running time: 92 minutes - You know it's an Evil Dead movie because by the time you hit the hour thirty mark you're already seeing the soundtrack listing in the credits.
I’m very new to the series but Evil Dead 2 is not only my favorite movie in the Evil Dead franchise but one of my favorite horror movies period. In my research (i.e. Googling a lot) I’ve found the first movie is more or less forgotten, even among some horror fans. Evil Dead 2 is such a perfect "do-over" that it completely overshadows the original in the minds of so many people. Obviously I didn't see this movie when it came out, but I remember the fan backlash. "Why is this so serious? It's missing the point, it's supposed to be funny.” That’s all a load of shit. Sam Raimi didn’t testify in front of a court in the UK because the original was just so fucking hilarious.
The fan response was all I really knew about this movie going into it. The most vocal people were the people who seemed to know the least about it, if they even saw it. You know, the people who weren’t going to be happy no matter what happened. They were furious about making an Evil Dead movie without Ash, but they would have been just as mad if they’d tried to recast him. Just imagine how hard they’d be tickety typing away online if some no-name actor had the NERVE to say “groovy.” They would have thrown molotov cocktails at the director’s house.
This is the rare remake where it’s not some company buying the rights (Platinum Dunes with Chainsaw, Friday, and Nightmare) and going down the checklist of what’s supposed to be in those particular franchises and hoping to double up on their investment. Raimi, Tapert, and Campbell all served as producers and Raimi handpicked Alvarez, a Uruguayan unknown who up until Evil Dead had made a Youtube short film.
Enough bullshit, let’s get into this. I love the first movie and it’s a cornerstone in the horror genre, but it had plenty of room for improvement. This one is long as shit and there’s plenty of violent gifs ahead, so if you don’t want to explain to your boss why you’re looking at a tongue getting forked by a box cutter, maybe wait till you get home.
Oculus - The Best Horror Movie You Forgot About This Year (Spoiler Free)
Posted on 10:04:00 PM by Big Bob Pataki
Oculus stars Karen Gillan (Dr. Who) as a woman who is convinced that an antique mirror is responsible for a bunch of terrible shit happening to her and her family 11 years prior. It's way better than it sounds
Army of Darkness - Hail to the King, Baby
Posted on 3:18:00 PM by Big Bob Pataki
Release date: February 19, 1933
Running time: 80 minutes
I tried to go in without thinking about the cult status or all of the hype I've heard about this movie over the years. It's one of those movies where even if you've never seen a single frame of it, it's so ingrained in pop culture that you know everything about it. You know Ash, you know the chainsaw, you know the boomstick, you know "groovy." You know most of the beats without ever even knowing who Bruce Campbell is. I tried to put all that aside and go in fresh. It's impossible to go in completely blind, but I'm only going in with a bit of knowledge about it. Most importantly the fact that it's not called Evil Dead 3 for a reason. I'm hoping it still retains a bit of the horror that made me love Evil Dead 2 so much without going completely over the top, but I get a strong feeling I'm not going to get any of it.
Evil Dead II - Dead By Dawn
Posted on 12:46:00 PM by Big Bob Pataki
Evil Dead II (1987)
Directed by: Sam Raimi
Starring: Bruce Campbell and 4 other people
Release date: March 13, 1987
Running time: 84 minutes
Back again in my continuing series of "the most important movies of a particular genre that I've never seen." Up until I started this, I had never seen an entire Evil Dead movie, but sat through that entire piece of shit White Noise where Michael Keaton sees ghosts in video tapes. The first step is admitting you have a problem...
This is the part where I'd normally warn about spoilers, but I think I'm the last person from my generation to watch it, so why bother? Big chinned idiot plays a tape, puts a chainsaw on his hand, kills demons. It's your standard Shakesperean farce.
The Evil Dead - One By One We Will Take You
Posted on 8:35:00 PM by Big Bob Pataki
The Evil Dead (1981)
Directed by: Sam Raimi
Starring: Bruce Campbell and 4 other people
Release date: October 15, 1981
Running time: 85 minutes
I wanted to change it up and do some horror. I had a lot of series I could do: the obvious big slasher ones like Halloween, Friday, and Nightmare. As I was going down my DVD shelf I spotted the Evil Dead series and realized I had never seen a single one of them. I own 5 Wrong Turns and the fucking direct to DVD third installment of the “I Know What You Did Last Summer” franchise but I’d never seen a single Evil Dead movie start to finish. This makes me an asshole.
This particular review is going to have a lot more “behind the scenes” stuff usual. I’m not trying to turn this into an IMDb trivia page, but anyone whose seen this movie knows how god damn ridiculous making it was, and for people like me who have never gotten around to watching it, it’s interesting to know how these 5 nobodies and a 20 year old with no money made a cheap movie in the middle of nowhere that went on to become one of the most influential horror movies ever.
This review is spoiler filled so if you haven’t seen it yet…
Watch this movie if: You don't want to be like me and be called a stupid piece of shit for not seeing it yet.
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