Ninja - Mind if a White Boy Studies a Little Bushido?

In a world ruled from the shadows by the invisible hand of the ninja, there are none more feared than the one white guy who studies there. 

Ninja

Year: 2009
Directed by: Isaac Florentine

Written by: Boaz Davidson, Michael Hurst

Starring: Scott Adkins, Tsuyoshi Ihara, Mika Hijii

Runtime: 83 minutes

The story of Ninja is a tale as old as time. Much like the Canon films of yore, a white guy living in Japan studies the way of the bushido. Casey Bowman (Scott Adkins) lives at the dojo, marries his sensei's daughter Namiko (Mika Hijii), and inexplicably finds himself in a blood feud with top student Masazuka (Tsuyoshi Ihara). Casey and Masazuka have exactly one altercation approximately ten minutes into the movie. Masazuka attempts to murder Casey in front of the entire school, leading to his expulsion. Masazuka uses this low point in his life to do some soul searching and face his demons. He learns and grows from his mistake. He becomes a ninja assassin who works for a secret cabal of cloak wearing stunt doubles. They control oil prices or something, I don't know. It's one of those movies, don't worry about it. That's not what this is really about. Ninja is about putting a white guy on the poster to sell DVDs. But it's also about a disgraced assassin returning to the forsaken dojo and retrieving an ancient chest full of ninja gear. Ninja gear that rightfully belongs to him.

And folks, it doesn't get any better than that. I don't give a shit about the fate of the world, I care about the fate of this dojo. The stakes are both incredibly low and also at the same time the highest they've ever been. I love when a movie has 80's teen comedy stakes. It's the action movie equivalent of teenagers saving the town bowling alley from getting bulldozed by Mr. Pennyfeather, who wants to demolish it to build luxury apartments. At the heart of this film, Ninja is a story about a many people having to die while two rivals fight over a box of old swords. For 83 lean minutes, nobody takes a second to ask if all of this violence is worth a box of dusty trinkets. Of course it is. The fact that you would suggest otherwise is proof you lack the warrior spirit necessary to enter my dojo. Put your shoes back on and leave.

You can't tell me he doesn't have that shit on

Director Isaac Florentine's name is one you will see often when you enter this Director Isaac Florentine's name is one you will see often when you enter this world of Incredibly Stupid Movies. Or as the kids call it, "Tubi." He has worked with Scott Adkins several times, most notably in 3 Undisputed movies and the (better) sequel Ninja: Shadow of a Tear. A little bit of research on Mr. Florentine led me to discover what I believe is the secret sauce for consistently making entertaining action movies. He got his start working on Power Rangers. And I don't mean he did a couple of episodes for a season or two. I mean he was a stunt coordinator and second unit director all the way back during Mighty Morphin. That show was my introduction to Cool Guys Beating Each Other Up With Weapons. If you're working on Power Rangers, you're given no time, no money, and a bunch of non-union actors who don't know they're being ripped off. If you can make something with those ingredients, you can do anything.

If you can churn out five episodes a week, imagine what you can do with Scott Adkins. Scott is a guy who can do anything and everything you could want from an action star. Ninja combines a director who knows how to film great looking action with an actor who can do all of the required physicality convincingly. No need to patch a fight scene together in the editing room afterwards, it's all done in frame. This is Adkins' first starring role and Florentine lets him shine. If I had seen this when it released in 2009, I would have been incredibly annoying about it. I would have demanded everyone I know stopped what they were doing and watched it immediately. I'm never one to let a good opportunity to be annoying go to waste, so consider this my demand.

Eagle-eyed viewers might notice that I talked about the plot for all of one paragraph before moving on. That is a feature of Ninja, not a flaw. It is a series of well-shot, impeccably choreographed fight scenes that resolve and then promptly lead to another location where another fight takes place. It's like a movie version of Streets of Rage (Complimentary). I took notes while watching for this review, and there is a significant chunk of the middle of the film where my notes are "that train fight was sick. That police station fight was sick. Holy shit, was that a poison blow dart?" Every fight scene is comprised of long takes in which all of the action happens in frame, not haphazardly stitched together after the fact. 

There are many films in the genre (which I will politely not name here) where the big fights are Frankensteined together in post-production and are incoherent and sometimes headache inducing. The beauty of Florentine's direction and Adkins' ability is that you're never confused about who is who in a fight, where they are in relation to each other at any given moment, or what's going on. Each action set piece is shot with a clarity and ease of understanding that you would kill for today. Every one of those set pieces ends with a new revelation that moves Scott Adkins to another location to spin kick more people. Why does a movie about two men fighting over honor and swords need an underground cult? Because you need a room full of guys for Ninja Scott to beat the piss out of, dumbass. Stop asking stupid questions.

Like I said, Florentine is a Powers Rangers guy. You need a bunch of Putty's to get dog walked before the big fight at the end.

I have some nitpicks, but only two real gripes stand out. One is that, while there is fantastic fight choreography, Florentine went a little too hard on the camera effects. A lot of it looks like an episode of Arrow or Flash, which was probably less of an insult when this came out in 2009. I'm not a fan of the fake digital zooms that are reminiscent of a video game cutscene showing you a new item to inspect. There are way too many speed ramping and slow motion effects as Ninja approaches the big finale. It's not just that the effects are corny, but they're fully unnecessary. Scott Adkins is one of a small handful of people who doesn't need that kind of digital assistance. Most of it happens during the final battle where he has full...I don't know how else to say this...Ninja Powers, but it's wholly unnecessary. I think Florentine and Adkins would both agree, because it's absent in the sequel. But like I said, the man did a lot of Power Rangers.

My only other gripe is that, while I love Scott (if you couldn't tell), he was fighting for his life to keep his fake American accent under control. What bugs me about it is the fact that it's a completely unforced error. Why does the gaijin have to explicitly be from America? It it because Americans are stupid? Would your typical Hollywood Video customer prefer for their ninja to do a bad House M.D. impression? There's no way of knowing. But also, yes to both. A lot of Scott's line delivery is flat because he is wrestling that accent like it's a king cobra. Fortunately, it's immediately followed by him beating up guys with nunchuks, and just like that you don't really care what he sounds like.

Don't let those complaints dissuade you from watching Ninja. If a couple of cheesy camera moves and some wooden dialogue would stop you from watching a movie where two ninjas have a sword fight in New York City, then there's no way you were going to watch it anyways. A solid early effort from Florentine and Adkins, as well as a great entry into the cannon of ninja movies. Spin kicks, back flips, night vision ninjas, and credits roll at 83 minutes. You already know that's a recommend.