Showing posts with label Movie Review. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Movie Review. Show all posts

Jesus Christ Superstar - The First Movie to Feature Twerking

Written by: Melvyn Bragg, Norman Jewison, Tim Rice, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John
Directed by: Norman Jewison
Music by: Tim Rice, Andrew Lloyd Webber
Starring: Ted Neeley, Yvonne Elliman, Carl Anderson, Barry Dennen, Philip Toubus, the principal from Billy Madison
Cinematography: Douglas Slocombe
Are we still giving credit to huge movie studios that don't love us back?: Universal Pictures

There is no great shortage of biblical film adaptations; it's called the greatest story ever told for a reason. There are varying degrees of success here; one can quickly point to either version of The Ten Commandments or Ben-Hur as useful and worthwhile works of art, while Wholly Moses! and Noah's Ark are wastes of time. It's a tricky balancing act; you've got to respect both the belief system that's been around for a couple millennia lest you upset one of the biggest religious movements in the world, but you've got to commit to the art form as well lest you disappoint the general moviegoer. Right about the 1970s, Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber had a really bright idea: how about a musical that portrays Jesus Christ as some sort of funk rock superstar?

Really, were they that far off? Jesus was a real phenomenon in his day, and his disciples weren't his only die-hard fans. As to whether the narrative works, it's widely accepted that this film is largely uneven and certainly not going to please everyone who watches it. It's not even immediately apparent what the film's purpose is, but in the end I'll make the argument that it's more than a bowl of sugar for breakfast.

The first time I saw this was on an Easter Sunday early in my life, sometime after the morning Mass. Dad put it on for my brother and me instead of Jesus of Nazareth, which was probably the right call. It's one of the first times I remember him explaining how a movie works, what they were trying to get across, and how it tied into my religion and worldview. I liked it enough to buy it on DVD, and I watched it almost obsessively back in high school - it's a surprisingly educational motion picture for a prospective film buff. For this review, I'm just gonna go song by song and capture the feelings I had while watching.

Overture
---
Almost as soon as the movie kicks off, one recognizes how excellent the music is, and how the musical uses various themes repeated throughout the movie to its advantage. The music is about as love-it-or-hate-it as you can get; personally, it's exactly the kinda music I can get into, but others (like the owner of this blog) can't stand. Your mileage may vary, but it's better than most musicals I've listened to. I think the performers this time around are much better than in the Broadway version. That's a somewhat hot take considering how Broadway had Ian Gillan (the lead singer of Deep Purple, one of the best singers I've ever heard) and Murray Head, but Ted Neeley and Carl Anderson just do a better job all around. Yvonne Elliman was retained, and the movie is better for it.

The basic framing device is that this is a group of American performers who came to put on a performance (for no audience, and with no visible backing band) in the Holy Land of a really controversial musical. This really only comes about in the very beginning and the very end, but it's kinda helpful to show a) how long the message of Christ has lasted and b) this could be just about anyone. It's also useful for explaining why the sets, outfits, and props are the way they are in the movie. Right about the time the cast starts unloading assault rifles from their groove bus, it's immediately apparent why people love this movie, why people protested this movie, and why people have trouble taking this movie seriously. The movie was made by a group of amateurs, and it shows in a number of scenes, but cinematographer Douglas Slocombe wasn't one of them. His fantastic work, subtle in some cases and ostentatious in other shots, is excellent at building the story and showcasing the drama in the work. He later went on to do the first three movies of the Indiana Jones trilogy, which are pretty good from what I've heard.

Sure hope they use that thing responsibly
Heaven on Their Minds
---
Very easily one of the best songs in Jesus Christ Superstar, this is another bit of controversy, but it's important to have a song like this to let the audience know exactly what the movie is all about. Y'see, there are a number of "villains" in the passion of the Christ: Caiaphas and the pharisees, Pontius Pilate, John Lennon, and obviously Judas Iscariot. The musical makes it clear right from the onset that it will do its utmost to be as fair as possible to all involved, and to be at least somewhat sympathetic to the characters who have long been vilified throughout history. Even if it's not entirely sympathetic, you can at least tell what Judas is dealing with, and what all his hang-ups are throughout his song.

What's the Buzz
---
One of the things I like that the movie does is to portray the political struggles many of the people around Jesus were faced with in their days; the disciples were faced with more than just the salvation of humanity, but also political repression from Rome, and they wanted Jesus to lend more than a spiritual hand. It's also pretty obvious how 70's this is when listening to it, dig-that-funky-beat, etc. Let's appreciate that we moved beyond this sort of fashion, but not this kind of enthusiasm

Strange Thing Mystifying
---
It's debatable as to whether Judas is the main character; I'd still argue Jesus is the protagonist here, but they're almost treated as equals here. They both make good points in their argument, and it's the kind of debate that I kinda enjoy.

What's my guy on the left doing?

Then We Are Decided
---
This song was added specifically for the movie, as a bit of clarification as to what the pharisees were thinking when they decided to eliminate Jesus. In the musical, Caiaphas is left as an unredeemable villain, but this song makes it clear that he's conflicted, and has obligations to his people, and is only doing what he thinks is right. That doesn't make it right, of course, but it adds depth to a character, and any song that does that will earn a bit of praise from me. It does kinda leave Annas as a scheming vizier, though.

Everything's Alright
---
Definitely one of my favorite songs here - it's probably the sexiest song one can do in a tale of the Christ, by which I mean it's got dignity and sensuality. Yvonne Elliman was the perfect choice for this role (before she started doing meth), and her voice couldn't be replaced by anyone else here. Again, Judas and Jesus both raise valid points in their argument, and it shows how Judas' philosophical differences have reached a breaking point. One of the most dramatic moments in the film occurs at the end of the song, where Judas and Jesus clasp hands then let go and drift apart. It was the first time I could tell what a character was thinking without them telling me; i.e., each knows what will become of the other - but not of what will becomes of themselves.

This Jesus Must Die
---
This is where Caiaphas is forced to convince the other pharisees that they're going to have take out Jesus on their own, and it's one of the better ones in the movie. I don't know why Bob Bingham decided to wear a steamrolled Rubik's cube on his torso, but I guess that was just the fashion back then. I've always wondered if people liked to dress up like this, hang out on scaffolding, and bang their hands on the pipes like a bunch of rowdy schoolboys.


Hosanna
---
Perhaps the most forgettable song in the entire movie, it was still a pretty neat decision to have the camera freeze on Jesus' face when his followers ask whether he would die for them. The seriousness of the moment is somewhat diminished by the Looney Tunes marimba in the background. Take it easy for a hot second, Ruth Underwood.

Simon Zealotes/Poor Jerusalem
---
Now this is a showstopped. This is Be Our Guest, from Beauty and the Beast. It's about as useful to the story, too (which is to say, not particularly). I just love experiencing all the time and effort that goes into something like this; look at the athleticism of the dancers, the complexity of the choreography, and the sheer unrestrained energy of Larry Marshall. This also led to my dad explaining the subtler aspects, like the presence of the Roman guards signifying the approaching political dispute that will end in tragedy, Judas fearing the growing hero worship. What if all these people are wrong about him? Ultimately, they are wrong: this is a song about missing the point.

Pilate's Dream
---
I'm one of the few Christians I know to find Pilate to be a sympathetic character, and this is one of the songs that convinced me. Pontius Pilate was a man caught in a very difficult situation, and succumbed to the people in an effort to do what he thought would be the safest thing for everyone (particularly himself). The movie never really explains what the deal is with his female companion, though.

The Temple
---
So far this movie has taken a pretty fast and loose approach with the final days of Jesus Christ, but that's alright. I don't mind the slight modernization of historical stories, as long as it's mature, carefully thought out, and useful in some capacity. The movie then decides to throw in gyrating prostitutes, grenades, and honest-to-Ted Neeley gatling gun. It's a pretty jaw-dropping sight, and not for the intended reasons. It's then perfectly understandable that Jesus has such an outburst, and it's nice to have a movie where a powerful person absolutely believes what he espouses, and is not some corrupt lech who's willing to wet the beak just to make a few silver coins on the side. Mr. Pataki thought the follow-up songs featured Jawas.


Don't remember that in the gospels.

I Don't Know How to Love Him
---
It's pretty obvious why this is one of the most well-known songs from the musical; not only is Yvonne Elliman at the absolute top of her game, but the song is thoughtful, touching, and emotional. It's got that same thing that kinda bugs me about some of the songs in the musical, where they were clearly written so they could apply to any subject, thus giving it broader appeal to artists interested in covers, but I've warmed up to it over the years.

Damned for All Time/Blood Money
---
Right when I hear that distorted guitar, I know I'm gonna have a great time. You thought the grenades were a bit much in The Temple? How about a set of tanks chasing Judas through the desert? Even my dad couldn't explain that one to me. He was quick to let me know that no, there were no tanks in the Bible. I checked and it turns out he was right. Older mature viewers will recognize this song is built almost entirely on the riff from the 60's Batman television show theme song.

The Last Supper
---
This is a complicated one; personally, I feel it's an extremely underrated song. It's the emotional climax of the film, with Judas and Jesus both unloading on each other; it feels more like the dissolution of a friendship than a betrayal of humanity's savior. This is all the more difficult to pull off, because the movie hasn't ever truly shown Judas and Jesus in a friendly manner. I find myself listening to this song more than any other from the soundtrack.


Gethsemane (I Only Want to Say)
---
Intended to be the big solo piece for whoever plays Jesus, this song is a surprisingly weak spot, even though scripturally there's not too many problems here. There's no way anyone could've possibly known what was going through Jesus' mind when he realized he would be crucified, and the insertion of the multiple depictions of His death is somehow dramatically effective at impressing upon Him the salvation He would bring about. My qualms are primarily melodic; even with the exciting moments, it's just not as great as even some of the throwaway songs here. I can't even blame what's going on during the song (just Jesus climbing a mountain and yelling at the sky). Pilate's Dream is one of my favorites and it's just Barry Dennen wandering around whichever nondescript ruins were assigned to him that day.

The Arrest
---
A shockingly good one here; it starts with Philip Toubus (who, with a name like that, unsurprisingly went on to become a prolific adult film director) and the other disciples awaking up and reprising What's the Buzz? and getting ready to defend their leader. Shame they don't actually have swords, because Jesus tells them to drop their swords. I know Ted Neeley covers well by saying this to a Roman centurion (who is armed), but this was clearly supposed to be directed to his disciples, who made the distinctly impolite move to cut off a Roman's ear (big party foul in the Middle East back then). Then it proceeds to show Jesus being accosted by the people as he's taken in custody to Caiaphas, and everyone holds their hands up to his face like they're holding invisible portable recording devices. I guess it's supposed to be a critique of the media, but as Judas will say later on, "Israel in 4 B.C. had no mass communication."

Peter's Denial
---
I don't know why I like this song so much, it's practically a throwaway song, it's a recycled melody (remember Strange Thing Mystifying?) and it's not like anyone was begging to see more of Philip Toubus. I guess I just like their voices, whatever Yvonne Elliman is doing with her face, and that guy's sweet purple tank top.

Pilate and Christ
---
I don't have anything useful to say about this song, besides Christ uttering history's very first "no u". Pilate sends Jesus off to King Herod, who, if I recall correctly, was the guy who originally sent out people to kill this king of the Jews before he had even been born, acting on a prophecy (this is one of the reasons Jesus was born in secret). Sounds like a real evil jerk, I can only imagine what his song is like.



King Herod's Song
---
Hoo boy, where do I even start? The movie's tone flits back and forth between serious dramatic portrayals of scripture and...whatever this is supposed to be. Don't get me wrong, it was one of my favorite songs when I first saw it, and it's a kinda catchy beat. It just misses the entire point of Herod, and is a complete departure from the (somewhat) serious tone of (most of) the rest of the movie. The choreography is pretty damn good, but I can't get over a movie giving the principal from Billy Madison his own song - shirtless, I might add.

Could We Start Again Please?
---
This is a song that was fairly obviously added in to lengthen the movie's run time, but I don't have too much against it. It's a decent song, and it shows how much Mary and the disciples lament the end of not just their following, but their friendship. Unfortunately, it's another one of those songs where it could be about any subject, and it would still make sense. I guess I just like a little specificity in my music. I can't get over Philip Toubus' name. It's too perfect.

Judas' Death
---
It would be a really cheap out to just bring up the Batman theme again, so instead I'll focus on the intensity of this song. It's not just the beginning; the part right after the quiet section is excellent in showing how Judas' mind is swimming, how he feels like he's the one who's been used - not by the pharisees, but by God Himself. The sound the guitar makes still sends shivers up and down my spine. I still don't know how Norman Jewison accomplished the effect of Judas hanging himself.

Trial Before Pilate
---
This is it. The big one. The climax of the entire picture. I gotta admit, this is a tough one to watch - but I mean that in a good way. It's not cheesy or corny or anything, the music is excellently written and performed, and it shows exactly what the main political dispute going on at the time was, and why Pilate is stuck between several rocks and a hard place. The 39 lashes, though, are shockingly hard to watch. I remember sitting through The Passion of the Christ, and that was pretty rough, but one of the things the movie never shows is anyone reacting realistically to Jesus's injuries. Ted Neeley's own mother couldn't watch this scene. I still don't know what's up with Pilate's female companion(s).


Look, now there's more of 'em!
Superstar
---
This is a great song, and it's obvious why it was one of the lead singles, but I don't know why it's interspersed with the road to crucifixion. These scenes are remarkably difficult to watch, and it's a shame because Superstar is one of the best songs in the movie, and you can tell how much fun everyone is having. Personally, I haven't got anything to say about the crucifixion scene. It's almost exactly what you'd expect. In the end, it's nice to see everyone get on the bus in their street clothes, adding another element of humanity. One of my favorite parts is seeing the shepherd at the end - who was completely unplanned and unexpected by the crew, by the way.


Fitzcarraldo: Conquistador of the Useless


Director: Werner Herzog
Writer: Werner Herzog
Starring: Klaus Kinski, Claudia Cardinale
Music by: Popol Vuh

Fitzcarraldo is a movie about a guy who drags a boat up a hill.

The Ritual Review - Stop Going in the Woods


"If a shortcut was a shortcut it wouldn’t be a shortcut, it would be a route."

When Harry Met Sally...Ringing in the New Year by Going Completely Off-Brand


Year of release: 1989
Starring: Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan, Carrie Fisher, Buddy Hackett Bruno Kirby
Writer: Nora Ephron
Director: Rob Reiner
Cinematographer: Barry Sonnenfeld

2018 just has to be the year. I don't know what it'll be the year for, but it oughta be the year for something really special. Anything can happen; we got the Buffalo Bills in the playoffs, we got a failed gameshow host as U.S. President, and I hear tell they might even be bringing back Animaniacs. The human race is precipitously balanced on the edge of a razor blade, or maybe we're skating on thin ice, or perhaps we're dancing a waltz on a powder keg, or we could just be doing none of those extremely stupid, dangerous things and there isn't a superfluous metaphor to apply to society these days, try as we might. Maybe it's because I watched Good Girls Revolt, witnessed talking heads on the news debate whether the United States would turn North Korea into a concrete parking lot or vice versa, and saw the Iranian protests, but it seems like the world is just raring for a revolution of some sort. People sure would like to belong to one. The populace desires change. As usual, I've got just the thing.

Folks, it's time to for us, as a species, to watch more Rob Reiner movies.

Wonder Woman or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Matriarchy



Pop quiz hotshot: Why is there no Wonder Man? That's what I thought, Libs.

Colossal - Pacific Rim, But with Feelings and Likable Characters




In which I throw colossal amounts of shade at Big Bob for his taste in movies.

Kong: Skull Island - Big Dumb Monkey Movies. For Your Health.



Sure, there's a review on here from Chris, but why not read the hot takes from someone who recommended POWER RANGERS

F8 of the Furious - A Quarter Movie at a Time



Directed by: Same guy who made Straight Outta Compton
Written by: Chris Morgan
Starring: Don’t pretend like you don’t already know
Runtime: 35 minutes

On Wednesday, April 17, 2017, I saw a movie called Your Name. at the Angelika Film Center in Fairfax, VA. It was a lovely Japanese movie, one of the best fifty films I’ve ever seen, and I highly recommend everyone see it as soon as possible. I cannot guarantee that a review will be coming shortly; it’s not something that’s easy to write about.

The Fast and the Furious franchise is not particularly easy to write about either, unfortunately. I’ve spent some time in the Terrible Blog Scientific Research Facility and Laboratory and developed a pretty solid theorem which states that any average human being currently occupying Earth has either a) seen all of the Fast and the Furious movies or b) seen none of the Fast and the Furious movies. The theorem does not allow for anything in between. You’re either a fan or you’re oblivious. You either think it’s an above-average action/thriller series that has deviated from street racing to heist set-ups, or you’re vaguely aware that some beefy bald guy drives a car really fast in them.

I can personally count myself a casual fan of the series; I’ve seen ‘em all, and I have my praises and criticisms. I love the drifting in Part 3, I hate the protagonist in…well, Part 3. I’ve made jokes in the past that the Fast and the Furious is the benchmark for action films and film trilogies, but we all know that’s horseshit. There is no grouping of three Fast and the Furious movies that matches up to the Evil Dead trilogy or the Dollars trilogy. The highs of the Fast and the Furious never comes close to the highs of Mad Max: Fury Road or The Seven Samurai. What it does – and this is not insignificant – is surpass The Expendables trilogy. Being above average in today’s film world, replete with remakes and practically devoid of creativity and originality, is respectable. They made eight of these for a reason, boys and girls. (This is my best excuse for why I went to watch it.)

I went to watch Fate of the Furious at a Regal theater in Arlington, VA, not thinking for a fraction of a second that it could possibly live up to the heavenly experience I had watching Your Name. I was accompanied by two associates, Josh Brody and Alex Sinar. I’m naming names so that they can confirm that what I’m about to describe to you folks actually happened.

We made our way to the theater in some worthless mall I’m never going to revisit, and discovered the theater had reclining seats. Not exactly Alamo Drafthouse, but a hell of a lot better than most of the theaters I grew up with. There was even a little tray to put the bucket of popcorn on so the butter doesn’t leak and drip all over your crotch. Regal thinks of everything (except showing good movies).

The first part of the movie involved Dom Toretto being forced/inserting himself (some blurred lines here) into a street race with some Big Shot Bobby on Cuba; Toretto is forced to race his cousin’s car, the slowest on the island, against this guy’s car, the fastest on the island. Despite his cousin’s protestations, Dom’s pretty confident he can take what appears to be the shittiest car in recorded history to the limit to take down some guy we’ve never seen in seven (7) prior movies. The first thing he does is tear apart half the car, stripping off excess weight that would only be wasted protecting a driver against collisions or some bullshit. He then outfits the crummy engine with pure unfiltered Cuban nitrous oxide, as Letty Ortiz warns him that the engine can’t handle it. Nah, it’s okay, he comforts us; it’s not about the engine, it’s about the driver. No, you don’t understand, continues Letty, the engine will literally burst into flames and explode. Toretto says something asinine like “just you watch” or whatever. Homeboy’s driving a car that’s one step away from a horse and buggy and he just knows he’s going to beat the best car in Cuba. N2O is this series’ deus ex machina.

Half the fun is just watching Vin Diesel haphazardly rip parts off the car.

Toretto obviously wins the race (whoa, unmarked spoilers Chris, stay in your lane), but the journey to the finish line is really something special in this stupid movie for idiot babies. He’s obviously losing for most of the way (Suspense 101), so he hits the N2O button. This propels him into competitive speed, but it’s still not quite enough. Also turns out Letty was right for once in her life, and the engine – what little of it actually constitutes a motor – is shaking around like a belly dancer in an earthquake. It literally bursts into flames on the final stretch, and Dom gets a hilariously great idea: he spins the car around and goes into reverse like it’s Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing, uses the explosion of the engine to boost across the finish line for the win, then spirals the car into the ocean. Oh yeah, then he gives his beautiful, perfect car to his cousin, who is never named and is referred to only as Cousin, for no real reason in particular. Something about family, I’m sure. Then he gets forced into a job by Charlize Theron in blonde dreadlocks.

The movie then cuts to The “Dwayne Johnson” Rock as a little league girls soccer coach, leading his team in a Haka dance. This is a very special dance in Samoa, one that is very special in Polynesian culture. Word has it (I did a crummy youtube search) that this dance was blessed by the elders. Then The Rock makes this weird sorta dragon face with his tongue flaring out and everyone lost it. A government agent pulls him back in to acquire some technobabble thingamajig, and ol’ Rocky says “Oh, don’t worry. I’ve already got a team I trust.” You people have no idea just how much I wanted him to bring along that soccer team.

The Rock and Toretto team up with the usual suspects to steal the whatever-it-is technology thing, but Toretto goes rogue and steals the thing for himself. Wham bam thank you ma’am, The Rock gets imprisoned along with none other than Jason Statham, who’s really in rare form in this movie. He’s talking way faster than normal and keeps thinking he can fight The Rock one-on-one. Bear in mind, The Dwayne is the biggest he’s been in a movie since Pain & Gain. An excellent prison escape ensues, where The Rock gets shot with rubber bullets and just grunts “big mistake.” Both Statham and The Rock are saved by Kurt Russell (still riding his never-made-a-bad-movie streak) and…

The film cut to black. The projector died.

Immediately screams, groans, moans, yells, yelps, shouts, roars, bellows, howls, hollers, and shrieks filled the theater. The guy next to us cried out “TORETTOOOOOOOOOOO!” Everyone began pounding their seats’ trays. Alex yelled out “no, you guys don’t understand, that’s where the movie ends!” and the same guy responded “NOOOOOO IT WAS LIKE TWENTY MINUTES!” I swear on my life he yelled like a Jets fan when they drafted Roger Vick. In between demands for a refund and spilling Sprite on his friend’s jeans, he also instructed us to add him on snapchat. Never miss an opportunity to promote your brand (incidentally, you can read more about the Fast and the Furious here).

Some background: Josh and I used to work at a Regal movie theater in Rockville, MD, and whenever something like this happens, it’s a genuine nightmare. Refunds are given and the entire theater is shut down. Very bad for business to say the least. Usually the staff is very conciliatory and apologetic. Everyone was shouting so loud, however, that the projectionist was shouting above the clamor about how he was trying to rewind it, and people were laughing back at him. It was a near riot. They were able to get it to rewind, but the projector died at the exact same spot it died at before. The yelling got even louder and we all filed out for our refund tickets. They didn’t even have the decency to show us Boss Baby.

I’m sure the movie lasted longer than the 35 minutes I got to see of it, but I wouldn’t know. As far as I’m concerned, the movie ended right then and there. It’s not like I could go out and watch the rest of it; nothing is ever going to live up to that theater experience. Besides, it's not like immediately after that point in the movie the plot is going to become a convoluted, nonsensical mess while Charlize Theron gives a horrendously boring performance and they try to make Clint Eastwood's shitty kid a part of the crew. 

I’m so happy Alex paid for those tickets. I guess this is just going to have to constitute as my review, consider this Gonzo journalism.

Except without this guy hanging around





Power Rangers - Saban Grabs the Bull by the Horn



One thing remains consistent over time: Saban is all about coulda, not shoulda 


Kong: Skull Island - In Defense of Giant Monkey Movies


This is what Bill Paxton would have wanted.

X-Men 10: Wolverine 3: Logan



I have been dreaming of this Wolverine since I was a fat little kid watching the 90's cartoon and putting knifes between my fingers like an asshole. As a fat little adult, I can say it was worth the wait. 

The Top 5 Movies of 2016


"Look at me, I'm Chris. I saw high-concept foreign cinema instead of paying to see Batman v Superman twice." 

A Christmas Story - In Which Chris Loses All Readers We've Gained in 2016






A Christmas Story

Directed by: Bob Clark

Starring: no one of consequence

Writers: Jean Shepherd, Leigh Brown, Bob Clark

Do I hafta?: Yeah, you hafta.

A Nightmare on Elm Street - Stay Away from Uncle Freddy's Puzzle Basement



Wherein a wisecracking high school janitor teaches kids to believe in their dreams

The Handmaiden - Now with Less Octopus



I can't understand a god damned thing Bruce Dickinson is saying

The Phantom Carriage - A Bit of Class Between Wiener Jokes



Or as the Swedes call it, 
Körkarlen. We’ll get there fast and then we’ll take it slow. 

The Fog - Tom Atkins' Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery




Out of all of John Carpenter's movies, this is one of them.


Batman: The Killing Joke - One Bad Day


This is it, folks. The whole enchilada. An adaptation of one of the most famous Batman stories in history. The definitive telling of Batman and Joker's rivalry. One bad day. Oh yeah, and also Batgirl has a hole in her spine that only Bruce Wayne can fill. 


Suicide Squad - It's Guardians of the Galaxy, But Not the Good Kind Like You Want

We've got it. The worst of the worst.

More like the Dirty Doesn't. My column: 

Ghostbusters (2016) - The War on Men Begins with the Desecration of Dan Aykroyd's Ghost Blowjob

Ghostbusters 2016 cast

♪ I'm in the business of misandry, let's take it from the top
It's got an all female cast and they're never gonna stop ♪